Both Sides How

The way this newest chapter in my book is developing, it's clear that it runs counter to all of the chapters leading up to it. In order to appear as an author with integrity, my challenge is now to reconcile this one with its predecessors, with the most fundamental and confusing change in my attitude, to my readers, being my transformation from a hardcore atheist to a child of God. At first sight, such opposites appear to cancel each other out. But there we go thinking logically again. Now that I, once again, know I am a child of God, I know that all my brothers and sisters are, too, whatever their belief system. And I know that I always was, myself, whatever creed or lack of creed I may have been practising. (It pains me to explain this, for I often hear such things from the same people who condemn atheists to the fires of hell.) I am one with the person who wrote all those anti-religious thoughts, leading up to the present daylight. I intend now to leave them posted, to show the contrast in outlooks existing between believers and non-believers, and to illustrate their differing impacts on the mind. As a would-be atheist, I claimed that because of doubt, we are all closet atheists. At the time I was saying it, there within me was a forgotten Christ-inspired intent to sacrifice myself for others; the same one that led to my initial spiritual transformation and would soon do so again. It was folly for me to make such a sweeping statement without fully knowing my own mind, and I freely admit it now. We have nothing to doubt but doubt, itself!
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