Amazed and Confused

I guess I'm a confusing person, coming here and sharing my love and then going home and shouting insults from my window. I hope I can pass it off as sophistication. While I seem like an ass sometimes, with all my accusations and name calling, the bottom line for me is that I do love all you crazy people. I wish there were another way of putting it because it sounds woosy. Why do I love you? Because you make me laugh. You have provided me with endless material, which I hope to share with you so that we may laugh together. But more than that, you have endowed me with a very special gift by taking my music and writing into your hearts. You have enabled me to sense the presence of God. I hope that I can return this gift to you, as well. I know that there is no logical explanation for God, but I hope I have sufficiently explained why I still believe in him. We get caught up in the physical world and its apparent laws, but there is far more to the universe than mere matter. God's presence is at first upsetting. All of one's darkest secrets are suddenly brought out into the light, bringing shame and humiliation. But it is only the wicked who fear the light of God's truth. They need to hide their sins in darkness. It may be easier for a musical composer to stand in the light. The parts of his mind that would otherwise be occupied by sinful thoughts are consumed by music. It follows that God would be more tolerant and forgiving of those who do not possess this advantage. If you wonder why God's presence isn't more obvious, consider where the motive to be good may originate. How can God determine which of us are good, as long as he hovers over us in plain sight? There's a big difference between wanting to be good for good's sake and simply fearing punishment. All the same, I submit this thought to you as a theory, for I would not dare to guess God's mind. My greatest confusion with Christ's teachings has been around his advice to give all our wealth away to the poor and to 'turn the other cheek' when we are attacked. How does impoverishing oneself solve poverty? And how does giving way to bullies end aggression? It may be that I am thinking within the confines of earthbound logic, rather than using my heart to address this problem. I am forgetting that it is our personal relationship with God that is of primary importance. To follow the Lord's advice is to take on enormous hardships here on earth, but to increase heavenly rewards. The more a man fears death, the more likely it is because he has an easy life here that will end for all eternity when his physical life ends. But the more a man looks forward to death, the more likely a great reward is kept for him in Heaven.
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© 2011. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.